Mexico Beginnings

Blog 1-18-2008

Johari’s hair needs no product help here in the warm, humid weather of Mexico. It stays curled up tight here. But homemade salt dough to play with does NOT work in this weather. It just gets stickier and gooier. Not a warm weather play invention.
She has met Mary Carmen, the baby that is about 1 year old. Mary Carmen is pretty serious so far. And amazingly Johari is pretty serious around her as well and very shy. It is hard to believe considering how much she loves to play with babies. I guess it is all a lot to take in and see if she is comfortable with. We went down to the restaurant Lool Che here today. The one that is on the property where my dad’s house is. We had lunch there and Johari really enjoyed it. Rice, beans, guacamole, chicken, chips, and TOMATOES. She was really diggin’ those tomatoes.
She likes to direct people. So on the walk back from the restaurant, she was telling us who should take turns holding whose hand and when. She had us rotate through various hand holding matches.
Her grandpa got her a little plastic table and chairs which she sits at some, but more than sitting, she likes to push and carry the chairs all around. Or put one of her babies in it and push it around.
1-19-08
I learned how to pat tortilla dough into a tortilla today. It is as good as playing with play dough, it is just you have to get it into a perfect circle every time. Johari watched while I worked with other women on making tortillas. She held a bit of dough in her hand and then sucked on some cooked tortilla.
She found a toy truck to play with. And she began to warm up to the kids. They are preparing for a wedding celebration tomorrow. Soooooo much cooking to do! They are making a pit to cook a stew of many meats in the ground. They slaughtered a pig early this morning. Which means that the lunch meal had a mound of fried pork skins to accompany the black beans. Johari chewed on a bit of the cracklin’ and ate a few of the black beans. She wore the Mayan traditional dress today. It kept falling off her shoulder and baring her chest. Oh, well.
Her grandpa got her a beautiful handmade high chair to use while she is here which is making it easier to feed her.
It rained heavily all night. I think that made it so she slept pretty well. It also made everything incredibly muddy today. Mud can’t stop playing though.

1-21-08
Yesterday was the big wedding celebration out here at Lol Che restaurant. Johari had a good time. She played with a few other kids. She ran around. She watched and listened to the Mariachi band. She danced to the DJs music. She enjoyed the food, much to my surprise.
She is constantly talking about dogs and signing ‘dog’. She says Lola a whole lot too. It is as if she associates all dogs with Lola. I am not sure why. And babies are another great topic of conversation (of sorts). The other tale that she recounts over and over is how grandpa took her to see a horse on the property and how the horse has a ‘hurt’ on its leg. And the horse eats grass and drinks water. She has also started using the sign for ‘scared’ a lot. Some of it seems like it is used in a context that makes sense but some of the time, I am not sure what she is referring to being scared.
Today we went to the ocean for a short visit. It wasn’t exactly beach weather, kind of cool and overcast and a bit drizzly. But she enjoyed playing in the sand with her shovel and sieve. And then we went to put our feet in the water and she ended up getting wet and being naked and playing the surf. She liked it a lot but got cold pretty quickly. Mama didn’t think to bring an extra set of clothes so she had to just wear a diaper for the rest of our errands. You live and you learn. Next time we carry an extra set of clothes.
Johari is introduced and known as “Joya” to the Itza family here. Joya is jewel in Spanish.

An excursion to visit a friend in Victoria

Hey Grandpa what are you reading?

Taking care of one of her babies

Playing with her friend Julia

Johari and I went up to Victoria B.C. this weekend to visit a friend that I worked with in Tanzania, Gladys. It was wonderful to see her after 4 years. She arrived in Canada from Tanzania 3 months ago. What an overwhelming transition, I imagine. The millions of choices that one has to make in 'Western' society.

Gladys

I was thinking about how hard it is for people from many countries to travel anywhere else. The struggle to get a visa just to visit anywhere else. And yet with a U.S. passport, we take it for granted that we can just go most places without much work. We just have to show up and we can get right in. Shouldn't we all be free to travel the world. A world without borders that would be pretty incredible.
I also got more insight into the situation in Kenya, being that Gladys is Kenyan. She explained the situation to us more.
Johari has picked up a little cold. Hopefully it will diminish before we travel.
We had a nice visit with our friends, Cheryl and Jordan, this evening. At the end of our visit when we outside playing in the snow, Johari really really really wanted to hold Jordan's hand although the feeling wasn't mutual. She kept running after her and reaching for Jordan's hand. Before we got out of the house Jordan had wanted to hug Johari. She walked up to her with open arms but then didn't quite get her arms around Johari. Both very sweet gestures for one another.
Johari got a rolling dog from Christina about a week ago. A very cool toy for Johari considering she loves dogs. One day, I took her out to walk this dog down the street. It ended up being frustrating to walk the dog on the sidewalk because the dog kept falling over and then she would have to figure out how to get her dog upright again, take a few steps and the dog runs into the edge of the grass and falls over, work on getting it upright and on and on. Johari kept working at it. She was very determined.

Johari likes to put on her own headbands and several at one time. I like the stilo that she has created.
She is totally obsessed with her baby dolls. The other day, she wanted to bring 4 baby dolls with her. She was struggling to carry them all. So I put them in her backpack so she could carry them all. But then she did not want the backpack to be removed from her back. She likes to take care of all of them. And have them participate in activities. She gets them to wave "hi" and clap their hands or their feet. Sometimes she has them dancing. She can't let go of them. On the ferry ride home from Victoria, there was a very nice playroom onboard. A little boy in the playroom wanted to take care of Johari's baby as well. He was sweet to the baby but Johari had a hard time being alright with someone else having her baby. She is a protective mama. Not just any joe-schmoe kid can care for her baby. She only trusts me to do it at times and her grandma once in a while. Otherwise she has a heavy responsibility caring for all of her babies.

a few more...

Waiting to cross to Canada

Napping while we tour around Vancouver

Christmas day fun

Chillin' on the couch

some pics from the last couple of weeks....

Helping to do Great Grandma's Hair

Great Grandma gets to try the glasses

Ewwwww....drool

Eating oranges in the sun

Piling up her toys

busy people....

It has been a while since I have had a chance to blog or journal or anything of the sort. We went to Ohio over Christmas time to see Johari's great grandma. We had a good trip. Traveling with her went smoothly. Visiting a house that is not kid-friendly is more of a challenge. But we had a nice time anyway. We came back and our friend, Danny, was visiting. Johari and I went up to Vancouver for about a day and half with him and his friend. We stayed the night in a youth hostel. Pretty interesting place to take her. It would have been fine except that there seemed to be a bar or night club underneath the level that we were sleeping on. So she an I went to bed around 9 and she was able to sleep through it all. But I was not. I tried to sleep that whole time, but didn't really get into a real sleep until 2 or 3 in the morning when the bar shut down. The next evening, Johari and I rode the Amtrak home.
She seems to be getting her two upper canine teeth. The fangs are on their way in. It is always a slow process but I see one poking through. She will soon have her smile completed to dazzle the world with.
We made some new friends....what a blessing!! Cheryl (the mama) and Jordan (the 2 1/2 yr old girl). We have hung out with them a few times. We went to a children's museum the other night together. And while we were walking into the mall, Johari kept reaching to hold Jordan's hand to walk with her and Cheryl's hand too. Johari did give Jordan a little push while we were in Petco and looking at lizards. We have to work on that...that is, not doing that. But they are both great people and fun to hang with. I am very happy to have met them.
We also went to the art museum a few days ago with the Stee family crew (Hyon, Dan, Lua, Sung-Jin, and Jung-Gyu). And to Pike Place Market. It was a nice outing. Tiring but good. The art museum has a play room for the kiddos which is nice.
I was just realizing what is happening in Kenya. I am not in touch with world events enough. I try to listen to NPR when I am in the car but don't get in the car every day. I am worried about my friends in Kenya. I need to try to get in touch with them or their family members in the U.S.

Sleeping with the Bible.....

Walking her dog and slinging her babe.

Eating German Pancake in style

This evening Johari went to bed clutching a small Bible. She wouldn't let go of it even while she was nursing and falling asleep. She would shake her head "No" if I tried to remove it from her clutches. Is this symbolic of something? :) Not really! Just kind of funny. She found the little New Testament in a drawer in the bathroom that someone had left behind. One of those ones that people hand out for free to encourage the reading of the Bible. Right now, Johari is cuddling it in her sleep.
On Thursday morning , we went to a playgroup in the basement of a church. We found out about it through one of the Meetup.com groups that I joined. The playgroup was nice. There were some kids older and some the same age as Johari. The kids ran around and played with toys for a while. Then they sat down and had a snack together and the toys were put away. Then there was a craft project which Johari wasn't ready to follow. It ended up being me trying to put this menorah together while Johari tore it apart. There was a 3 year old there, Isabella, that really took to me while we were there. She was a sweetie. By the end she insisted that I take her to the potty and not her mama. She wanted me to get her the toilet paper and not her mama. It was pretty cute. We like each other. Maybe it helped that I tried to comfort her after she got pushed by another little girl. Maybe we just hit it off.

Playing with Carmel, showing her the ropes....

Friday evening, we went to visit Carmel. Johari was disappointed when we arrived at their house and Carmel was nowhere to be seen because she was napping. She signed, "baby" over and over. She was more than happy to assist Christina in waking Carmel up. Johari really enjoyed playing with Carmel. They ate rice and teriyaki chicken together. A few times, Johari got a bit jealous of what Carmel had or was sitting on or her sippy cup of water. But we worked through it.

"I know how to put these on myself. I've got this! Don't they look stylish?"
Silly so-and-so

cry freedom

Johari has been very into transferring things from one vessel to another. Popcorn can go from bowl to bowl to table to floor to bowl and so on. Blueberries go from bowl to bag to bowl to bag to mouth. Applesauce from bowl to plate and drizzled all over her pieces of chicken. It looks like a tasty sauce although she doesn't try eating the combination. It is far more about the process although she takes a bite of whatever she is transferring here and there.
I have been thinking about joining the YMCA. So that I have another possible way to exercise if the weather is not inviting for the outdoor activities. I checked it out and they have childcare at the one that is close to where we live. So next step would be to apply for a membership and all that jazz. When I thought about taking Johari there and leaving her at the childcare, I could imagine how that might go or whether it would just be a tragedy for her. So my next step was to ask someone (a friend) to watch Johari for 20 minutes or a half hour to see how that goes. To get her used to the concept of me leaving for a little while and then coming back. On Monday, Hyon and Ariel came over to watch Johari for this first trial period. I told her I was going to leave for a bit. Immediately she got very upset and burst into tears and clung to me. I held her while she cried a bit and then I gave her to Hyon still crying and went for a short run. They reported a success. She cried for a couple minutes while Hyon held her and comforted her. Then she was ready to play with Ariel.
I am really thankful for this Playful Parenting book that I am reading. The chapters that I have been reading in the last week or so have been really helpful about handling children's emotions. Just being with them and allowing for their emotions to flow and be supported and safe. It helps me feel less anxiety about having to try to get her to stop crying. Instead, I can just hold her and let her cry if something is upsetting or hurts. I am not explaining it well. It sounds so simple. Accessing more understanding about what children need in their emotional world is really helpful. It makes it easier to just be with the emotions rather than needing to shut them off as soon as possible.
She is starting to draw with her markers a bit more. It had been all about the caps...on and off. Markers in the bowl and then putting each one on the table or on the floor. It is still much of the same process. She takes a marker out of the bowl, takes the cap off, draws a line or two with it, puts the cap back on, and the marker either goes on the floor or back in the bowl. The drawing part is the fun addition to the process. At least from my perspective.
Picture this, Johari breastfeeding and pretending to talk on her play cellphone. Quite a funny sight.

Just some pics from the past week or so....

Talking on her fake cellphone....

Being sicky sick and watching her Signing Time DVD...

A cool chickadee....
Or a Bono wannabe.....

"I've got this attachment parenting, babywearing thing down..."

5 things to be grateful for...

We finally made it to a cafe in Seattle today with our friend, Sanju. It was a nice little cafe. We hung out there for a while. A 21-month-old boy came in with his papa and we tried to make friends with the boy. I asked Johari if she wanted to share her tangerine with the little boy, Leo. Her very first response was a shake of the head "no". But with a small bit of encouragement she got really into giving him the oranges slice by slice. Leo was into receiving them. Then she wanted to give him her pear after she took a couple of bites. She really likes to give other people food. She is constantly trying to pass her food off to anyone around. Let's hope this spirit of sharing can persevere.
I was looking at a book that was recommended to me today online. I read a bit about its premise. It was talking about teaching younger or older children to use affirmations throughout their daily life. For some reason, it made me think of something that I have heard about before and done at various times on my own in my journal and tried to encourage other people to do as well. And that is think about 5 things that you are grateful or thankful for or happy about. I have found that when I do this on a regular basis (daily or at least trying to make it daily) it has made me more mindful of all of the small wonderful things that happen in my day. It has allowed me to hone in on the little delights as well as the bigger ones. So I thought that maybe we should try to do this at the dinner table every night as a family. And I suggested it. It seems like everyone agreed that it was a good idea. We have begun. (I had to make a ground rule...no response necessary after each thing that people are thankful for.) The things that I was thankful for today...

• Being able to spend time in the city at a nice cafe with a friend.
• Running around the house with Johari for exercise and great fun.
• Drinking green tea.
  
• Having a great dinner with green vegetables in it - a pile of broccoli.
  
• Watching Johari share her fruit with a little boy in the cafe.
  

So I challenge you to do the same for a while. Consistently for a couple of weeks to try it out. It can be whatever you want. The same thing every day. Different things. Little things. Big things. Medium things. 2 things. 20 things. I feel like it is a good practice for everyone. We have so much to gripe about and fret over and challenge us, it is good to take a moment out of a day to just be grateful for things. I was thinking, why 5. Does it have to be 5? What if you have a super horrible day and you are allowing yourself to feel like crap? Do you have to come up with 5 things...I don't think so, but maybe 5 should be something we could strive for. A minimum of 2, right? I mean even if we are really down and out there has to still be the energy to drudge up 2 things that you appreciate in one's life or in one's day. But then maybe we are so inspired by life that we just don't want to stop appreciating the things that we see around us. Let me know how it goes.

snow and snot

Well, Johari got a cold. It is no fun. But we are making it through. It started with her first time throwing up ever. Not bad to hold out until she is 16 months old to try throwing up. And then it went into total congestion and coughing and a stuffed nose and sad look. But her snot nose is drying up and her cough is still hacking stuff up. Her eyes look back to healthier.
We were out at the bread store the other day. When we got there, it started snowing. And here in the Northwest, the snows freaks people out a bit. The people in front of me in line said they had to take their food to go because they needed to rush home. A guy walked in and asked me what I thought of this snow...I told him I just moved here from Chicago and he got it. They don't really do anything to the roads when it snows. I am not really sure why. I guess because it doesn't happen often enough to spend their resources on cleaning up snow. But then along with the hills and rain and ice and snow, it can be treacherous driving, I guess. It just seemed so odd to me how hyped up everyone got at the sight of some flakes falling from the sky.